5 lbs Down!

Since rejoining the fitness bandwagon a week ago today, I have lost 5 pounds! This is huge for me. I know that this is mostly water weight but it feels good. The constant feeling of being bloated and just blah is starting to go away as well.

Here are things I’ve done this week to jump start the weight loss:

  • cut the soda every day at 3 pm habit
  • no more before bed ice cream
  • cut excess bread out (super love bread)
  • bought healthy snacks to keep at work (cheese and olives)
  • drank at least 70 oz of water every day (trying to get back up to a gallon a day)
  • tracked everything I ate religiously-even when it was bad (yummy Cook Out!)
  • limited carb intake
  • added Apple Cider Vinegar shots a few times a day (usually about 15 minutes before each meal)

I know that it is a long road ahead of me to get to where I want to be but I’m at a point where I’m really ready to make positive changes all around.

This was probably one of my favorite meals from this past week. Smoked chuck roast with a baked potato. I gave in to the fact that I will probably never fully get away from all carbs in the this world. BUT, I can make a decision to eat the ones that give me fuel instead of the ones that make me want to nap.

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Getting Back On Track

Today starts my new journey of getting my fitness levels back on track. Baby J has pretty much weaned off the boob and I told myself when that happened I would start back all those healthy habits that were abandoned during pregnancy.

Before going back to work, I was 7 pounds shy of pre-baby weight and about 17 pounds shy of where I was when I was running races, going to kickboxing, doing PiYo, and/or Cize near daily. I felt so good and felt that I looked good too. However, after getting on the scale this morning after a weekend of fast food, I have gained a whooping 16 pounds since going back to work the first week of October. This is just unacceptable but I know exactly how and why it happened. The picture below is Hallowen and I still felt awesome and although I had gained a bit I was still able to be active and wasn’t having teenage boy skin.

When I came back to work my milk supply started dropping off from not being with him as much. I didn’t respond well to pump and started amping up my calories to make up for it. I was still drinking the sodas and eating all the wonderful, bready carbs that settled my stomach when I was pregnant. Because of depression and just wanting to make more milk, I stepped away from the scale so that I wouldn’t have that anxiety reek havoc on my mental stability and then negatively impact my milk supply. I wasn’t paying attention to what I was putting in my body and about a month ago I started seeing and feeling the effects. My skin is going wonky, feeling oily, and constantly breaking out, my stomach seems to be getting bigger and bigger, and I started feeling worse than I did when I was pregnant. As much as I love the picture of me and my little dude below, I can look at it and pick apart things I don’t like about it and I HATE that.

I know what I’ve been doing wrong, or at least wrong for my body type, and I’m making some changes to correct it. I thought about throwing myself 100% into Keto but I think I’m going to start by moving into the low carb world. I know this works for me. When I did keto the first time, when I started running and doing races nearly every weekend my body needed the carbs. I’m trying to be gentle with myself because I know that when I get stressed I eat and I feel like I am one big ball of stress 99% of the time.

This week I’m trying out some new low carb recipes, ditching the soda habit (again for like the millionth time), and watching my caloric intake. Slowly each week, I’m going to add in a healthy habit. I’m hoping by Memorial Day weekend to be back in a few of my old summer shorts.

Here is my goal for myself. I felt amazing after this run, I love the bright colors, and the tan skin. I was there once and I know with a little work I can get there again.

What are some of your healthy habits that make your life better?

I started writing this not knowing I was in labor

bad choice

 

This has been my life since the middle of June. I can barely remember the last time I was able to wear any shoes other than flip flops, my socks don’t even fit my feet anymore, and I can feel the water retention in my legs. My feet feel like when you are sunburnt and go to stretch and the skin is tight and pulls like it is about to split. Since about I was about 8 weeks along, pregnancy has been rough to me. I even told my husband at one point that there would be no more after this because this is awful. I haven’t gone more than 2 weeks without throwing up, I’ve gained over 50 pounds, everything hurts, I feel testosterone rage nearly every waking minute, and I feel worthless because I cannot do everything that I am used to doing. And that bit is probably the worst part for me. I’m not able to do the things that I once did. I have to literally tell myself to stop doing things for the fear of the hurt from doing too much. This sucks.                                                         July 28, 2016

 

So I wanted to write something about wanting to restart my healthy living life back since my little fellow was getting close to 6 months old and this was the last saved draft I made. Little did I know at the moment I was writing this in a circle of self-pity, I was in the midst of back labor as well as having my liver in the beginning stages of shutting down. I developed HELLP syndrome. In all the readings and research I did while pregnant, I never even came across this and this shit is scary. HELLP stands for Hemolysis [rupturing of red blood cells], Elevated Liver Enzymes, and Low Platelet Count and is coupled with high blood pressure. The early symptoms of this are malaise (a feeling of general discomfort), heartburn, and vomiting and guess what I had all of these. You know what else has these symptoms being in the third trimester of pregnancy.

I went to the hospital because I couldn’t get in touch with my doctor and thought I had a kidney infection. I was checked into the hospital, told to change into the hospital gown, and waited. I was told around 1:30 that I was going to have a baby. It was insane. I kept thinking that it was too soon, way too soon. But not for him. He was 5 lbs 9 oz and 18.75 inches long and came out screaming. He didn’t have  to go to the NICU and was actually given the clear to go home before I was. He had a bad reaction to the pitocin and we had to have an emergency c-section more so for my health than anything else. I was in so much pain that it was ridiculous. My recovery was kind of crazy because I was on bedrest until the following Sunday and wasn’t able to eat until late Sunday. Saturday night I was able to have clear liquids and I swear I think it was the best popsicle that I’ve ever had.

It’s taken me a while to mentally recover from everything that happened. I feel like there are times I’m still dealing with the emotional ramifications of the entire pregnancy. I absolutely LOVE my son and he lights up my world in a way I didn’t know was possible. The issues I had could have been and would have been a lot more severe if I hadn’t taken the necessary steps to get healthy in 2013.

To be completley honest, I miss living that healthy lifestyle. I miss the running, kickboxing, signing up and doing 5ks, and coming up with healthy meal options for my house. Waking up and doing my workout videos when it was gross outside or I wanted to do something different was so much fun. It did take some time to learn how to balance all of that along with running a household of 2 people and pups. Adding in a new being has proven more difficulut than I thought. I had some friends that made it look so easy!

So now I’m looking to get my eating right again without affecting my breastmilk supply which has been a bit of an issue since he was born so early. Once I get my eating habits cleaned back up, I want to begin running again. Simple steps, baby steps if you will.

 

Food Issues, PCOS, and Pregnancy

In June of 2013, I started my amazing journey to start living a healthy lifestyle. In doing so, I accomplished so many things that I never thought possible. I have also overcame a lot of things in this journey. When you are consistently exercising, running, and eating right the negative thoughts that would cloud nearly every waking minute started slowly disappearing. There were times I would go for a run just to make sure those negative thoughts stayed at bay. None of the changes I started making in the summer of 2013 were extremely noticeable at first but slowly people started noticing and for the first time in no telling how long I started taking pride in my body and the things that it could do.

Now, 3 years later, I’m nearly 28 weeks pregnant (I will be on June 3rd) and hitting my third trimester. Tomorrow, I also go for the 3 hour glucose test and some of the old, negative thoughts and food issues are freight training my thought process. Since finding out I was pregnant, I have been terrified of getting gestational diabetes (GD). Failing the one hour test has brought up some old food insecurities and issues, made me hate PCOS just a bit more than I normally do, BUT it hasn’t effected the thoughts that I’m having about my pregnancy (more on that in a bit).

Knowing that I’m going to get told to watch my carbs and my sugar intake are a no brainer when it comes to the outcomes if I have GD. What makes me really worried is how hard it has been for me to eat certain things throughout this pregnancy. Throwing up salad is one of the worst things ever, feeling the clinching of my gag reflex when I would try to eat green beans or anything green really other than pickles made me want to cry, the uncontrollable need to eat a big, juicy burger made me feel like some kind of junkie most days, wanting to throw up anything that entered my mouth that wasn’t a craving made me just give up trying to fight, and finally not being able to even tolerate the look of raw chicken or the smell of baked chicken made me just stop caring.

This is something healthy I was able to eat a few weeks ago:

Between the throwing up, bowel movement issues, and energy levels working out has been severely hit or miss. It is really hard to continue working out when you spend an hour nearly every not throwing up everything and pooping out the rest. About a month ago, this stop happening every night or every night or so but it still happens about once a week. Maintaining physical activity is HARD. It feels like this pregnancy has been a multitude of all the worse symptoms of pregnancy. It has made the experience very real but also has made me very blunt when it comes to being pregnant.

Even with not being able to eat a variety of foods and throwing up, I’ve still gained nearly 30 pounds so far. This has been disheartening but it ways I didn’t think it would be. The fact I’m gaining doesn’t necessarily bother me, it is the thought of having to lose it after he gets here. It took me nearly 2 years to lose 40 pounds. Granted, I was diagnosed with an endocrine disorder (PCOS) during this time and had to change my thoughts around healthy eating because with PCOS, healthy eating for me is not the same as it would be for someone with PCOS but I had to work for everyone of those pounds and I know with a wee little one finding time to exercise, especially as much exercise as I was doing, maybe harder to accomplish.

All of this is making some of my old issues involving food come to the surface. Luckily, I am totally amazed at watching my belly grow and my body change. I’ve started seeing Jensen kick and move. As cliche as it sounds I’m really enjoying the way that my body is doing this whole metamorphosis. So I feel very torn in watching my body grow and well watching my body grow. And I’m happy that for at least now, I can still move even if it is in small increments.

Bad Dog 5k for Ronald McDonald House and a Weekend Recap

Last year this was a fun but wet run. It was also the run where I realized it would be best for me to finally get my foot/ankle looked at because it hurt every time I did any form of running on it so I had to walk most of it. Luckily, my running buddy for that race was cool with me doing just that! Thank you Brigitte! The picture below is from 2015’s Bad Dog 5k which happened on May 16th. Look at baby Reagan!

This year (and going forward) the race is going to be on the 4th Saturday in April. The weather was absolutely perfect! It was around 60 degrees at the start of the race. And slowly warmed up during my walk about downtown.

Saturday morning was a little rough to get going. This is the first race I’ve done from our new home and although I knew the drive would be longer I don’t think my brain and body wanted to cooperate with me getting there as early as I like to do. It was a full on mind game even getting to the race. Before getting on the interstate, I had convinced myself to go back home and go back to bed at least 3 times and 4 times (at least) talked myself out of it. I arrived downtown and got to Handy Park about 10 minutes before race start and even had time for pictures. I had just finished eating some type of breakfast bar as this photo was taken which I’m thinking is why I look so weird.

The race itself was fun! I took my time because I wasn’t feeling 100% until about mile 2. And that’s when I had to take some full-on stops to let traffic get through. I didn’t even try running this race because I didn’t think it would be the best idea. Especially since Jensen (the baby) discovered that my bladder makes for an excellent trampoline around mile 1.  Afterwards, I felt really good. Tired but good and hungry. So I took a selfie and went to go get some Hardee’s breakfast.

Later on that day, I went to the Southern Hot Wing Festival via the tickets that came with my race entry and discovered after walking and fighting through the crowd that I was too tired and too hot to really be down there. Luckily, Tristan and our friend Daniel weren’t feeling the place as well so we left, grabbed some snow cones, some crawfish, and started working on getting things together for the baby’s room.

Yay for baby crib! Now to start painting and organizing! Not pictured is the really amazing dresser my parents bought.

On Sunday, we went to the Grizzlies’ final game of the season and it was bittersweet but I was so glad we were able to go!

Moving

Now that the end of our stay in our townhouse is coming to an end as we are embarking on becoming home owners, I’ve started cleaning out 9 years of my life and 11 years of my husband’s. Most days surrounded by whatever stuff is in the room that I’m cleaning, I’m asking myself how the hell did we get so much junk??? A good portion of it comes from friends of ours moving and us taking their stuff, good ideas for projects landing in our guest room never to be thought of again, and the absolute failure to ever go through our master bedroom closet. I’m thoroughly excited though because getting rid of the clutter now will hopefully discourage clutter from storing up again.

Packing and cleaning has really taught me a lot about myself and my somewhat newly pregnant body. The main thing is that I seriously cannot do what I used to do as effectively. It has also taught me that I have to set up time limits on physical activity. The first overhaul day, I spent an hour cleaning, vacuuming, packing, bringing stuff up and down the stairs, and man the squats I was doing! After that day I was exhausted. My ass literally hurt when I went to bed and when I woke up. So I made a game plan, I would work for 45 minutes putting stuff in boxes, trash bags, etc. and then take the last 15 minutes of the hours (like cool down) and take everything downstairs to the trash, vacuum, and organize for movement the next day sake. This worked so well last week that this week I’ve pumped it up to almost 2 hours as of yesterday. I did take like a 10 minute break in-between to let my stomach muscles calm down before the clean-up of the clean-up.

This is our donation pile area. And also the culmination of about a week and a half of work and clean up. I’m starting on the downstairs more thoroughly tonight.

I can tell my body has missed being able to do workouts.  After the clean up, I feel really rejuvenated. I was even able to eat a salad last night! Granted I now crash a little earlier than I used to after all this work but it feels good.

I’m getting excited about having the move and things done so that I can focus on walking (I’m not even going to kid myself saying running) again especially as the weather gets so much nicer. I’m even going to set up a little yoga area for myself in the bright sunshine area of our new house. I can tell that I’m going to need as much yoga as possible in my life very soon.

Semmes-Murphey 5k: the pregnant experience

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This past weekend I decided to take advantage of the gorgeous weather and participate in the 1st Semmes-Murphey 5k. I looked at where the race would be held and figured it would be a great spot for the first race of me being super pregnant, since technically the Jingle Bell 5k in December I was only 4 weeks pregnant and didn’t know that I was actually pregnant. Sometime in the middle of the night before this race, baby decided that everything that was currently in my stomach needed to exit. I woke up the morning of the race still determined to participate even though I knew running would be next to out of the question.

By the time the race actually started I figured I might give running a good college try.

That was dumb.

But I kept trying to run for at least the first 2 miles off and on. It was like my legs, hips, and shins forgot all the times we had done this running and hell walking thing before. I would do good for a few minutes and then I could hear this little voice tell me if I kept going I would throw up. We’ve all had this voice from time to time. It used to come to me in my early 20s when I would contemplate doing another round of shots or something along those lines. Whenever I would have to slow down from running, I felt like I had taken on a snail’s pace in order to get back to normal.  At that point, I told myself that as long as I fully finished without getting sick I was a full-on winner for this race, no matter what the time said. Honestly, the time was bad but not as bad as it could have been and definitely not as bad as it would have been if I didn’t participate.

Now that I have my energy levels returning back to me, I know I need to start adding exercise back into my life. Not only for physical health but for mental health as well. Plus I seriously miss it. I just wonder what were some other mommies’ favorite exercises while pregnant?